New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year again: the making of resolutions.

Last year I set a goal of becoming more fearless. I don't know if I achieved that; it's difficult to measure fearlessness. But I have been trying to take more chances, step out of my comfort zone and try new things. My role in the community, while still quite small, has grown in the past year. And I've noticed a new self-confidence, something I'd lacked for some time.

But this year I'm going for a straight-up, achievable resolution: to buy less cheap crap. For me, that particularly means clothing, but it also pertains to things for the home.

I have a longstanding aversion to buying things made in China. One day I intend to blog about that (when and if I can ever set my thoughts out properly), but it started as my own personal protest against the country's human and animal rights abuses. Stories of contaminated pet products, children's toys and baby formula over the past few years vindicated my choice, and I've continued to try to avoid products that come from there.

It's not easy, and sometimes I give in. It's nearly impossible to find sweaters or boots or purses (and not just cheap ones but designer labels) that aren't made in China, and when buying online it's usually impossible to know where a product comes from. But there's been one good side effect: I've saved lots of money by not buying cheap, Chinese-made crap.

But it's not enough. I love stuff and I love shopping, but I really believe it's better for me and better for the world to make more-conscious, thoughtful decisions about where to spend my money. So no more "just looking" at the clothing racks at Target. No more $20 dresses at H&M.

I'd also like to teach myself to draw. Nothing too intricate, just some simple fashion- or architecture-related sketches that I can use on the blog.

Oh, yes, and I'm back to blogging. For now, anyway. I'm not going to post as regularly as I did before. It began to feel like a chore. No, now I'll post when the mood strikes and I have the time and energy to devote. (Check back next week for pictures from my trip to Paris and Brussels!)

Do you have any new year's resolutions you'd like to share? I'd love to hear about them!

New Year, New Me

In my daily bad habit of wasting time poking around on the Web, I've recently come across some blogs that really made me stop and think. I hate that. Because, despite the often frivolous content on this blog, I'm a pretty heavy thinker. So when I actually stop and think, well, I can get pretty deeply mired in it.

None of my thoughts are anything that hadn't been in the back of my mind somewhere. It's just that usually I prefer to keep them hidden away there. Then they're easy to deny. And sometimes, when there's work to be done, bills to be paid, dogs to be walked, groceries to be bought, it's just easier living in a state of denial then to actually confront those questions and ideas.

But with the changing of the year comes the inevitable re-evaluations and resolutions. I don't tend to make resolutions per se. I will lose five pounds. I will quit (fill in the bad habit of choice). No, I prefer to set wide-ranging goals. Things that are achievable and life-changing but can't be measured on a scale.

A few years ago I decided to step outside my comfort zone and take more chances. That opened the door to several new groups that I joined and to meeting lots of smart, interesting people.

I think now is the time for me to become more fearless. Because I know that the main thing that has held me back has always been me. Fear of failure is part of it, but it goes beyond that. Fear of making a fool of myself. Fear that I'm not nearly as smart or capable or talented as I think I am. (For example, I started this blog but was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it for months. See what I mean?)

I'm not entirely sure how I'll go about achieving my new goal. I'll probably make a list of some steps I can take. I like lists. Maybe read some inspiring books. Books are always good. But as long as I'm mindful of what I want (and part of what I want is figuring out what exactly it is that I want), I know it will inform any future decisions that I make.

I'll let you know how it goes. Oh, and I really do want to lose five pounds.

Have you made any New Year's resolutions? Can you recommend any books on confronting your fears? Let me know!